My attempt to return to writing!

So, the past couple of months have been crazy, to say the least, and it's left me neglecting some of my personal past times...like cooking...and writing about cooking!  A discussion with my mom today made me realize that I do need to start allowing myself some time to do things I love along with doing all the things that I feel I "need" to do.  (See mom, all that talking does occasionally pay off!!!!)  It has been a constant struggle in my life, the struggle between what I want to do, and what I feel I need to do.  I think, like most people, the "need to" comes long before the "want to".  So far, I've been unable to find anyone willing to take care of my laundry, or pay my bills, so I imagine most of my "need to's" will continue to take the top spots on my priority list.  However, I have become more and more aware that some of my personal "want to's" need to find a place in life as well!! 

Writing for me has always been an outlet, not something I always openly share, but it's been a constant none the less.  I find moments of peace and clarity while writing, and it's quite easy to express my feelings in written word...sometimes in ways that I'm unable to do verbally.  I often re-read things that I write and wonder if I truly wrote them...it's an odd thing to do...but something I've done since I was quite young.  When I write, I find I shut down the "thinking" part of my brain and I just "am"...all the things around me disappear and I am allowed to just "be".  Even when I'm interrupted (as I just was) with a little boy, holding his foot in the air, waving a shoe in my face yelling "Mommy help you??  Mommy help you??"...I'm still allowed to once again escape back to just, well, just being.  In life we have many roles to play...parents, spouses, children, siblings, coworkers, friends, aunts and uncles, grandparents, team mates...it's sort of daunting when you think about it.  Many times, you lack the time to just be you...and maybe not even the "you" that you have become in life...maybe the "you" that you once were.  Don't get me wrong...I love being all those things I've listed above...and I am thankful and grateful every day for the wonderful people that I have in my life...but I do think we all need time to center, to refocus and to recharge...something that's pretty difficult to do at a meeting, or while helping your child with a school project.  Without time to refocus, time to recenter and find peace, are we really filling all those roles to our greatest ability?  If you can only find 50% of yourself in your life, are you giving the best to your spouse, coworkers or kids??  I think for all of us, finding that "something" that helps bring us back to center is difficult.  I think it changes with life, and sometimes people never find it...while others seem to forget they ever did.  The most important thing to do, is to start trying...start looking and somewhere in the journey, you just might find yourself.  I'm one of the lucky ones, I already know a few different things that help me find my center...help me see and feel the beauty all around me...my problem is allowing myself the time and the privilege to participate!! I love to cook and create, try new things and experiment with flavors.  I love to take pictures, play with light and look for the beauty in our everyday....and I like to write.  I also like to help people...and I love to learn and share knowledge...so basically, this blog wraps up all those things and helps me get to my center...helps me recharge and refocus. 

The recipe today has absolutely nothing to do with finding your peace or your center...unless it's hidden inside an avocado...however, it is delicious...and it's a good change to your everyday, old fashion guacamole!! 

Chunky guacamole

4 avocados
juice of 1 lemon
Tabasco sauce, to taste
2 cloves garlic, chopped
1/2 red onion, diced
salt and pepper to taste
1/2 c tomatoes, seeded and chopped

Cut avocados in half, remove pit.  Remove the meat from the avocados with a spoon, keeping it as whole as possible.  Pour lemon juice over avocados (this will help keep them from browning).  Add garlic, onion and Tabasco and salt and pepper to taste.  Take a large knife and roughly chop through the avocado mixture to break up avocados and combine ingredients.  Add chopped tomatoes and gently toss with a spoon.  You can serve immediately. 

**Even if you don't like spicy guacamole, I would add a couple shakes of hot sauce...it shouldn't make it too spicy, but it does add depth of flavor!**

There are moments for peace amongst all of our day to day...although it doesn't always  seem like it...they are there, hiding behind the grocery list.  There is peace to be found in the very simplest of things and I think the trick is realizing that peace.  Thanks for being part of my center....hope you find a little bit of yours today too!