Not every hit is a homerun...

So...up until Friday night...every new recipe I tried went off without a hitch!  They all were simple to make, tasted great and my family loved them...Friday night that was not the case.  It was a simple, unassuming meal, steak, baked sweet potatoes, salad with lemon vinaigrette...and some homemade herbed ricotta cheese spread on whole wheat Italian style bread.  Sounds good doesn't it??  Well...it wasn't terrible...wasn't inedible...but it sure wasn't a home run!!  This dinner requires some tweeking...some redo's...but that's life right?? 

Not every step we take in life is a solid step...not everyone leads us exactly where we need to be.  Sometimes it's one step forward and two steps back...sometimes we feel like we are walking on a treadmill and getting nowhere.  Then there are those times...those times in life when it all falls into place...when everything works...when we step up to the plate, get a solid hit...and it's a home run!  I've taken several mis-steps in life...I guess we all have, but I have to see it's those times in life that keep us going through the treadmill times...the feeling of success...of doing better than we anticipated...making more than we thought we could.  I have spent the majority of my life attempting to achieve...again, I suppose most of us have...but I have spent a lot of days thinking about how I could have done things differently or how I could have been better...reaching for the stars and setting goals that feel impossible.  I have spent very little time relishing in successes or congratulating myself for what I have achieved.  Part of this overhaul process has led me to re-evaluate how I look at myself and where I put myself in my life.  So many times when I feel as though I've "failed" I turn to my mom...and so many times in life she's said to me "You would never expect someone else to live up to the expectations you place on yourself"...this statement is so very true.  Just as I didn't even think about feeding my body in the same way I feed my children's...didn't put myself in a place of importance...I rarely put myself in the same place I put other people.  I don't forgive myself as easily as I forgive others, I don't give myself the same window of leniency I give others...and I sure as heck don't see the value in myself that I so easily find in people around me.  I'm not sure why...don't know when I stopped thinking that I mattered....I suppose I could easily say becoming a mom or a wife forced me to push myself and to place myself lower on the ladder of significance in life...but to be honest it started long before that.  I should be grateful for my inability to delight in my personal successes...the drive to do more has brought me a lot of good things in life...but it sure does get tiring sometimes. 

So a new goal in this process...look at my everyday successes as what they are...successes!  Celebrate the little things and give myself a little liberty when it comes to "failures".  I'm going to do my best to start treating myself like I would my best friend...or my children...and be a little more gracious to myself. 

So here are the somewhat successful recipes...followed by changes that I plan on making next time.  I don't have pictures right now...but I will edit to add them later! 

Lemon Vinaigrette

1/2 c olive oil
1/4 c lemon juice
zest of one lemon
2 T sugar
1 clove garlic, chopped
Salt and pepper to taste.

Seems simple enough right??  If you like really tart dressings...this one's for you!!  It needs a super strong tasting green to stand up to it!  I think if I made it again...I'd use 1/8 c lemon juice and 1/4 c of fresh orange juice.  The sugar I added wasn't nearly enough to cut the bite...woo...my lips are still smacking!!! 

Homemade ricotta cheese with fresh herbs

4 c whole milk
2 c cream
1 T salt
4 T vinegar

Heat milk, cream and salt to a boil.  Remove from heat.  Add vinegar and stir.  Let sit for 3-5 minutes, until milk mixture begins to separate.  Transfer to a cheese cloth covered colander over a bowl.  Let drain for 10-15 minutes.  Chop any fresh herbs you like and add to cheese mixture. (I used scallions, dill and lemon thyme)  Refrigerate.  Serve on crusty bread or crackers. 

So the failure with this recipe wasn't the recipe itself...it was the process.  After I had started warming the milk mixture...I realized I'd forgotten to buy cheese cloth...so this led to a google search for replacements...let me tell you...no matter what you read on google...there is no good replacement for cheese cloth in this recipe...I tried them all!!  I finally used a fine, metal mesh colander that worked just fine!  I made a whole wheat rustic bread recipe to serve it on...also didn't work well...to dense of a texture and flavor for this light spread...but it tasted fantastic on crackers!  You could use this for a base to any flavors...it was super good!!!

I will post the bread recipe tomorrow...I'm working all weekend...so cooking (and writing) get put on the back burner!! 

Take time today and forgive yourself for your shortcomings...just as you would forgive your sister...your mother...your friend.  Remember that every stumble in life helps us to grow and become the people who we are striving to become...that's what I'll be doing...well, trying to do...sure hope I don't fail...

Oh yeah...Happy Mother's Day!